In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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