When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
