Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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