I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
