you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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