I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize