We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
