at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
