who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize