I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
be right there i have to get my cape
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
