In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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