Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
