Small penises have feelings too.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
