i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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