You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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