he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
try to milk me bitch
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
