honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
