She said her name was "party"
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
she told me i tasted like america
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
