In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
