Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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