The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Randomize
