I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
