You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
smell my finger.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
