Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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