I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
