just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
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