its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
the condom got lost in my hair
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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