Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
