I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
