I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
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