my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
third nipple confirmed
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
