Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
how do flat chested girls get laid?
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Randomize
