yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
