Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
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