do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
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