I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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