Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I pour the whiskey from now on
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
