Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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