It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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