Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
