They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
where are you?
Hypothermia
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
