There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
