Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
