my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
