If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Randomize
