Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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