If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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