Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
