Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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