OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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