Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
she smelled like a LAN party
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
