well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Randomize
