It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
No subtext here. People are naked.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize