Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
