Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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