he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
