I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Randomize
