Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
