Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
