How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
