So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize