just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
