i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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