he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Randomize
