I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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