It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
