I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Dignity is for republicans.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
