you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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