he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
