Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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