I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
