Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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