Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize