I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
